Every now and again I sit with my thoughts and truly reflect on the status of each event that has brought me to the presence. These thoughts include happy and impactful life-altering events and some are downright painful memories that I want to erase forever. Notwithstanding, I assess each and give myself grace for how I participated in those events with the resources I possessed.
I have had the beautiful opportunity of spending a significant amount of time with my beloved Grandmother between 2019 and 2020, thanks in retrospect to the months of being unemployed and working as a consultant. We shared meals, time, space, regrets, happiness, laughter, arguments, and love during that time. Her peaceful nature would always illuminate the room and her energy was contagious. I loved just sitting and listening to her share stories about her childhood and early adulthood and how much she grew after the passing of her life-time partner – my grandfather and her late husband.
Since her unexpected and sudden transition, I have relied on those memories to lift me up and to remind me that she really did live here with me and was very real. I smile and cry because her presence still lingers, and the memories are treasures stored in my brain and heart forever.
Despite those joyful memories, I often struggle with pockets of hopelessness that stems from nowhere. Sometimes, these episodes stem from painful memories or an experience. Having discussed and researched this phenomenon, I am convinced that phases like these do not last forever or relatively long. The itemized list below outlines some mantras and tools I used to manage my thoughts:
- Accept people for who they present themselves to be, not their past or potential
- Cultivate a habit of being sincere and kind-hearted
- Avoid conflict; it is never worth your time
- Pray often to your Creator
- Accept that failure and success are both stages in life
- Nothing last forever so be kind to yourself when things do not go according to your plans
- Life is too short to spend your time around people who dislike you
I am still learning and growing. There are days that will be difficult, and some days will be amazing. I will show up and continue to advocate for myself and mental well-being.
You should too!